AHNAn

i miss the accompany of urs…..

Is this just a preparation
For what is soon to come?
Another life might be waiting
For me to enter the tomb
I am not the only one
I am dying to find out
I want my life to rest
Solution suicide
I am not the only one
I am dying to find out
I want my life to rest
Solution suicide
This life is filled with ignorance
We are all born to die
No one knows what is to come
No one can see beyond life and time
Enter the realm of death
Sacrifice your life
To fill the emptiness
With knowledge from the other side
I am not the only one
I am dying to find out
I want my life to rest
Solution suicide
I am not the only one
I am dying to find out
I want my life to rest
Solution suicide

昨天已经过去，我会看到明天的太阳吗？最好不要，我多么需要淋淋雨。
每个人都玩的很开心，除了我，我的周围人迹罕至。
我活得多么可耻。
我是自己的主宰，也是小丑。
折断的双翼使我坠落，可我仍是自由的。
瞧你们那些冠冕的爱情，徒劳的爱情。
你根本不了解，也没有真正试图去了解。
你离我的世界越来越远，现在你正在土星上。
在这里，看着虚无的时间。
如何能够逃走？我得制造一些说再见的机会，对朋友说，也对浪漫说。
打算回家住一阵。好好过一下修道士的生活。可以让我变得坚韧。
再见了我的浪漫。
如果掩埋掉所有的过去，我猜最后蓝仙女会不会让我们重逢呢？

the guy went to his new school…everything is new to him… there is only one recess and its in the afternoon session….in the sch there were alot bullies and becos he came from another country he was being bullied everytime…they liked to laugh at him and looked down on him….he felt so helpless n lonely…he able to find a good malay fren but sadly when reach sec 3 they also like dun no each other alredy…sec 2 was a terrible year for him it is like from heaven drop to hell….he really dun wan to remember too much things on sec 2 but he still able to get top 2 finish in the class he is glad he did not neglect his study….when in sec 3 the sch has been shifted to a new location which everything is so fresh and clean… in sec 3 he went to the best class in normal acad…he get to know more frenz and he slowly start to settle down…most of the students accept him as a fren and he soon had alot of frenz…things start to getting smooth for him..no more ppl bullied him althought sometime there were still some but compare to sec 2 life become more easy….but his result start to fall he became playful and go back to wat he once was…… he noe some playful frenz and went to their house to play sometime after sch…when he reach home he will pak his name in MIRC and chat with alot of ppl he was like wasting his time… nothing special to him in sec 3 n 4 becos he turn back to a person he used to be in his homeland….things has change in sec 5……

宝贝，希望你在死亡的时候可以和我在一起。
　　我想问你一个问题：“你为什么而活着？”不要想当然，请好好考虑清楚再说。或者我问你一个更容易回答的问题：“你不去死的原因是什么？”
　　当然人人都自以为这跟本算不上是个问题，并对此都有一套高深的理论来解释。不过无独有偶的是在解释之前他们都会强调：“没有为什么。”
　　可是一定会有为什么。没有一个人针对其自身情况的回答能够让我信服，因为没人能说清楚是什么东西使他们活了下来。最靠谱的解释也不过是因为生物学上物种的“生存本能”。如果不能找到自己生存的根源动机，再快乐幸福的人我也会认为他和我的状态没有本质区别。
　　没有信仰，不知道存在的意义究竟为何，也不知道为什么没有去死。
　
　所有的生物诞生都是源于偶然。当一个又一个我们被一个又一个精子和卵细胞偶然结合在一起而产生，所有的我们也都是被抛弃到这个可笑的世界中来的。我们全
都是被遗弃到这个世界的，所以我们不可能了解到活着的意义。真正的哲学问题只有一个，那就是：到底要不要去死？因为没有存活意义的存活和死亡之间根本就没
有任何区别。全部的起因、经过和结果都无法由这个人本身去决定，留给我们的只剩下“活着还是不活”这个单项选择题的艰难思考。
　　我的宝贝，希望你会加入我的死亡。

there was once a guy come from a diff country and end up in sg for more than 10 years.still can remember the time he reach here is like a nerd althought there were alot thing happen in the country where he born he was force to come sg as his future will be doom if he continue there….he end up in a well reputated sch and start his sec 1 there…everything seem smooth he enjoy the time, everyday after sch will be going to hav fun with his best buddy and the gal he admire alot until today he still hope he could reunited with her…but all these fun did not last becos he play so much like when he was in his country… he neglected his study and end up everyday nite calling his buddy for hw ans….he still could remember once there was a test he pass up a blank paper to the teacher and teacher was so furious she did not even scold him but just shake head….he still did not realise its time to buck up and when exam came he fail badly….he was force to transfer out of the sch and leave a group of good frenz… althought till today he could not remember much of them he still miss the presence of them…he is really happy to know frenz like them….he try to find them when in the new sch at MIRC manage to find back few but in the end still lost contact with…and the gal who he miss alot called him during his birthday after 8 month of leaving the sch…but the guy just stupidly hang up the phone without asking her number…he is still regreting if he just bother to ask more and talk more, things might be completely diff from now….maybe its fate….haiz….the life in the new sch is terrible at the beginning….

just wake up so tired must drag myself up n go work so sian….hav good slp yesterday…poleo stop action with me u hav aileen number ok xiangjin one i will get soon ok hur hur hur….anyway today is christmas hope  everyone hav a good day…ya monday no sch holiday hahaha…but sian leh next week start sch while all the year 1 n 2 having their break…yawnz….next week gonna work almost everyday lo tuesday still hav my btt havnt start reading dun no where de book liao ha ha ha if i fail again i dun wan take liao next time hire ppl drive for me….ha ha ha…..yawnz go prepare for work le….

merry xmas everyone…now is 5 30am just got home from MOS, went with emm, xiangjin,aileen,edwin,poleo,cheewee. the new club is like so pack…so sian one lo the RNB so slow how to dance…wun go again nia dbl o still better they all agree hope next week got time can go dbl o with them haha…. quite a normal xmas…shit…later at 1 30 still must work i think i better go slp liao….good boy…..nitez…

to me u r thing in the past just wan to do watever i can to make the thing look better i feel i m in the guilty…. and present one can u plz tell me when…u really make me confuse…..haiz….. sat is christmas and i wan to celebrate with u but….haiz….. emm ask me go MOS think i should be there on sat… hope the new club will enlighten me…. project work is crap…..hate it…..

wat are fren for? dun no….i m just pathetic ass……